As a working mom, it’s natural to feel conflicted about returning to work — it’s a huge step, after all, and one that’s often accompanied by worry, trepidation, and no little guilt. Of course, you may simply be wondering how you’re possibly going to juggle a full-time job again now you also have a little one to care for!
Depending on where you work and who you work for — maternity leave policies differ between countries and employers — and the amount of time you’ve chosen to take off, you may be reentering the workforce after a few weeks, a few months, or a full year of leave. Either way, navigating this return can be tricky, logistically and emotionally.
In this guide, we explore some of the ways to ease your transition from at-home mom to working mom — helping you balance your professional and parental responsibilities without becoming crippled by guilt.
Why is it so hard to go back to work after maternity leave?
Even if you feel ready (or perhaps even excited) to return to work following your maternity leave, it’s a pretty massive transition — particularly if you’ve been away for many months. Readjusting to the routine and responsibilities of your job can feel like a huge shift following the often slightly less structured days of maternity leave.
Here are just some of the factors that can make balancing work and motherhood so challenging:
-
Separation anxiety: After having so much quality time to bond with your baby, the idea of being apart from them — and accepting that you may not be there for every little moment or milestone — can feel quite alien.
-
Guilt: You might feel guilty about returning to work because you worry you’re abandoning your little one. It’s also natural to feel concerned about how they’re coping without you.
-
Shift in identity: During maternity leave, your primary role is as a caregiver. When you return to work, it can be difficult to balance this with your professional identity, and the two roles can often seem at odds with one another.
-
The logistics: The practical side of returning to work — organizing childcare, managing a different schedule, adjusting to pumping rather than breastfeeding — can introduce lots of new logistical challenges.
-
Exhaustion and fatigue: Balancing a job with caring for a baby is a lot to take on, and it can feel overwhelming if you’re frequently switching between these two roles without time in between to recharge.
How to cope with returning to work after maternity leave
It’s important to recognize that transitioning back to work post-baby is a big adjustment, and you’re unlikely to be performing at your peak from day one — your employer shouldn’t expect this, either. Whether you feel excited, anxious, or a mix of both, give yourself permission to ease back into the routine and find a balance that works for you and your family.
Explore the option of “phasing in”
When it’s time to return to work after maternity leave, diving head-first back into your “old” routine is almost certainly going to feel pretty overwhelming. The likelihood is that, after weeks or months of dirty diapers and limited sleep, being thrust straight into a big project or sitting through back-to-back meetings might be a little much for your first week back.
This is why many working moms opt for a phased return to work, which involves a gentler and more gradual reintroduction to your role — your employer may allow you to work shorter days (or weeks) at first, for instance, easing the transition and ensuring you don’t become overburdened too quickly.
Many companies also offer “keeping in touch” days, where you’re able to work a few days during your maternity leave. These can help you avoid feeling totally “out of the loop” when you return, while also enabling you to maintain contact with co-workers while you’re away.
Speak to your employer about flexible working
The 2020s working landscape has been defined by a certain global health catastrophe, with one upshot being the swift adoption by many companies of remote working. And while there’s since been much debate about whether working from home is a good thing for employee productivity, it’s certainly a boon for work-life balance.
Many countries now implement laws around the right to request flexible work, and for moms returning to work following maternity leave, the ability to work remotely — or at least split their time between the office and the home — can make it easier to adjust to being at work again, forgoing challenges like long, day-after-day commutes.
This can make things more challenging, of course — it can be difficult to ignore your baby’s cries if you’re in a meeting in the next room, for example — so it’s important to set boundaries for yourself.
Establish a pumping routine, if needed
If you choose (and you’re able) to breastfeed your little one, going back to work means they’ll no longer have unfettered access to your boob. In most cases, this means you’ll need to master the art of pumping while apart from your baby.
First, it’s essential to discuss your need to pump with your employer — if you’re going back into an office, it’s their responsibility to ensure there’s a private space for you to pump (other than a restroom) and that you have adequate breaks in order to do so — although of course, if you opt for a discreet, hands-free pump such as Elvie Stride, it’s possible to pump at work without even leaving your desk.
Choosing the right breast pump is important, but it’s equally essential to take it for a “test run” or two before returning to work. This will help you get used to the act and routine of pumping before you start to pump “for real”.
Set clear boundaries with your employer
When you return to work after having a baby, it’s likely your working day won’t look exactly the same as it did before — you may have to account for new factors such as childcare arrangements, for example, which might require some added leeway from your employer. It therefore might not be possible for you to stay late at short notice or be available “out of hours”.
You can’t assume your boss will be understanding of your needs, however, and this is why it’s crucial to communicate these clearly in advance of your return to work. There’ll likely need to be some give and take, but let your employer know in no uncertain terms what you can realistically commit to, to ensure there’s no ambiguity.
At the same time, be mindful of how you communicate your needs. Instead of framing them as limitations, you might say: “To make sure I can be fully present during work hours, I’ll need to leave by 5 PM each day to pick up my child from daycare.” The key is to find a balance that works for you, your family, and your employer.
Establish a strong support network
Returning to work after maternity leave is an emotional transition as much as a logistical one, but you shouldn’t have to navigate it alone. Whether it’s your partner, family members, friends, or fellow working moms who understand what you’re going through, surrounding yourself with a solid support system is a crucial part of the adjustment.
If possible, try to connect with colleagues who are also parents to exchange advice and support each other through the ups and downs. Some workplaces even have parenting support groups or mentorship programs that can offer additional guidance.
At home, meanwhile, don’t be afraid to delegate tasks. Whether it’s splitting household responsibilities with your partner or seeking additional help from family members, ensuring you’re not carrying the full load alone can ease the burden on you as you return to work.
Cut yourself some slack
In an ideal world, you’d settle back into your new (old) routine as if you’d never been away, but the likelihood is the transition won’t be quite so simple. And that’s okay — even for the most confidently career-minded women, going back to work after giving birth requires a period of adjustment, and may come with a few first-week wobbles.
You can’t expect yourself to be star employee material on your first day back, and your employer should be mindful of this, too — it’ll inevitably take some time for you to get used to spending a full day at work again, and no one can blame you if you forget to unmute yourself in meetings or have to ask a colleague where an important document is stored.
Just remember to be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition. Just like adjusting to life with a newborn took time, settling back into your professional role will too. Give yourself grace on the tough days, celebrate the small wins, and over time you’ll regain confidence in your role and find a balance that works for you and your family.