10 minute readWe love to romanticize the idea of the “supermom” — the non-cape-wearing heroine who can effortlessly juggle the demands of childcare with just about anything else life throws at her.
But while some new moms do seemingly take to parenthood more naturally than others, the reality for most is that adapting to life as a mom is a marathon, not a Wonder Woman-style sprint — the journey to motherhood is paved with profound physical, psychological, and emotional challenges.
This journey is referred to as matrescence: a term that was coined almost half-a-decade ago but is still relatively little understood as a concept — type the word into any word processor and it’ll likely be underlined in red as an assumed misspelling, highlighting society’s sluggishness at catching on to this critical stage in many women’s lives.
But just what is matrescence? What does it involve? And how does it impact the women who go through it? In this guide, we explore the concept of matrescence in detail, highlighting its different stages and offering advice for navigating the transition from mom-to-be to mom.
Matrescence definition: what does matrescence mean?
Matrescence describes the process of becoming a mother, encompassing the physical, psychological, social, and emotional changes that shape the journey to motherhood. When a woman gives birth — or becomes a mother through adoption or surrogacy — she experiences profound changes that can impact her body, her identity, and her relationships.
According to Aurelie Athan, a clinical psychologist who lectures in Reproductive Psychology, matrescence is “a developmental passage where a woman transitions through pre-conception, pregnancy and birth, surrogacy or adoption, to the postnatal period and beyond,” which can be likened to the developmental push of adolescence.
Matrescence can have an impact on many aspects of a woman’s life. Hormonal changes can affect mood and energy levels, for example, while new mothers often experience a reconfiguration of their identities. But there are also emotional fluctuations, societal pressures, and even relationship changes to grapple with.
Why is it called matrescence?
Most of us are familiar with the term “adolescence”, the period of life when a child transitions to adulthood. Just as this key developmental stage is characterized by dramatic hormonal and psychological shifts, the journey to motherhood involves not only a physical transformation but often an emotional one, too — which can even impact a woman’s sense of self.
But while adolescence has been studied since the early 1900s, it wasn’t until the mid-1970s that anthropologist Dana Raphael coined the adjacent term “matrescence” to describe the equally transformative experience of becoming a mother. She saw this process as a “rite of passage” that had been overlooked in scientific research and discussions around motherhood.
Raphael believed that, “Giving birth does not automatically make a mother out of a woman,” stressing that the transition to motherhood was not simply a biological process but encompassed social, cultural, and even political factors — particularly when considering the differing attitudes towards motherhood and childcare across cultures.
Why is it important that we acknowledge matrescence?
As Lucy Jones, author of the book Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood, underlines, “After childhood and adolescence, there is no other time in an adult human’s life course which entails such dramatic psychological, social, and physical change.”
Understanding that matrescence is a process much like adolescence helps us appreciate, as individuals and as a society, that adapting to motherhood doesn’t happen overnight but is often a prolonged and challenging phase of a woman’s life. It also helps us avoid making unrealistic assumptions that women are simply “built” for motherhood.
Of course, motherhood is often a blissful and rewarding experience, but if we don’t acknowledge the emotional and psychological challenges new mothers face, we risk alienating those who feel overwhelmed or inadequate. By naming and acknowledging matrescence as a concept, we validate the experiences of all mothers.
What happens during matrescence?
Since no two women experience matrescence in exactly the same way, it’s important to understand that there’s no “typical” journey to becoming a mother. However, matrescence is often characterized by a series of deeply felt transformations that shape a woman’s biological, psychological, and emotional makeup.
Biological shifts. Hormones such as estrogen, prolactin, and oxytocin fluctuate during and after pregnancy. These shifts are crucial for adapting to caregiving and bonding, but they can also dramatically affect a woman’s mood and energy levels.
Physical recovery. A woman’s body goes through a lot during childbirth, and the early stages of motherhood involve a period of recovery. This can include recovering from vaginal tears, cesarean healing (if the mother has had a C-section), and uterine involution (where the uterus shrinks back to its original size).
Psychological changes. Motherhood often forces a woman to reevaluate her personal identity and sense of self. Reconciling the pre-motherhood self with a new maternal role can be both challenging and disorienting.
Emotional variances. New mothers often experience complex and changeable emotions, with moods fluctuating between joy, sadness, frustration, and more. Around 80% of new moms will have the “baby blues”, while roughly 1 in 7 experience postpartum depression.
Neurological transformations. The brain adapts to the new priorities and demands of motherhood, often enhancing “maternal” instincts. These neural adaptations help new mothers become attuned to their baby’s needs and support the bonding process between mom and baby.
Changes in relationships. Relationships with partners, family, and friends often evolve during matrescence. New moms may face changes in intimacy with their partner, for instance, as they balance caregiving with their role in the relationship.
Social pressures. Motherhood often comes with external pressures to conform to societal ideals of the “perfect parent”, and these unrealistic expectations can often lead to a woman feeling guilty, overwhelmed, or inadequate.
How long does matrescence last?
While the impact of matrescence may feel more intense in the first year following childbirth, there’s no specific, fixed timeline since everyone’s experience is unique. It may last for months, years, or even a lifetime.
Indeed, many experts believe that matrescence is a lifelong process, with a mother’s maternal identity in constant evolution as their child moves through life stages such as infancy, toddlerhood, and adolescence before eventually gaining independence.
Each stage of a child’s life brings new experiences and challenges that can reshape a mother’s maternal identity, with moms having to continually adapt to the emotional and social demands of parenthood — often even as their children become adults themselves.
Does matrescence happen during adoption and surrogacy?
Yes. While it might manifest itself in a different way — and a woman who becomes a mother through surrogacy or adoption may not experience the same physical transformation as a birth mother — the psychological, emotional, and social impact of motherhood is not limited to pregnancy and childbirth.
Adopted and intended mothers still experience many of the same changes and challenges associated with adapting to their new maternal role — such as a shift in identity, a reconfiguration of their social relationships, and the emotional and psychological adjustments needed for bonding and caregiving.
Is there a male version of matrescence?
Yes. While it’s not gained the same academic traction as matrescence, Dr. Will Courtenay, a clinical psychologist, coined the parallel term “patrescence” to describe a man’s journey to fatherhood — noting that fathers too go through identity shifts, emotional struggles, and relationship changes while adapting to their new roles.
Much like during matrescence, it’s not uncommon for new fathers to feel stress, anxiety, or uncertainty as they transition to parenthood, but active involvement in caregiving has been shown to enhance bonding and have a positive impact on a father’s mental health.
How to navigate matrescence as a new mother
Of course, there’s no manual for navigating the transition to becoming a parent, and there’s certainly no one-size-fits-all blueprint for motherhood — as we’ve made clear, matrescence looks and feels slightly different for everybody. But there are certain things you can do to make the journey at least a little smoother.
Be patient with yourself. Matrescence is a journey, and no one can be expected to adapt to motherhood overnight. It’s okay to feel anxious or overwhelmed at times, so be lenient with yourself, and don’t assume you need to have everything figured out right away.
Let go of perfectionism. Many new mothers feel pressure to meet society’s standards of the “perfect mom”, but these are unrealistic and unhelpful. It can be easier said than done, but try to set reasonable expectations for yourself and your family rather than aiming for an impossible ideal.
Trust your instincts. Parenting advice will inevitably come from every angle — and it’ll often be helpful and well-intentioned — but remember that you know what’s best for you and your baby. Have confidence in your own decision-making abilities.
Make time for self-care. Taking care of yourself is never selfish. While it can feel impossible to find a spare second for some you time, try to work self-care into your routine — take a short walk, run yourself a bath, or give meditation a try, for example.
Don’t assume motherhood defines you. While the role of a mother is important and often rewarding, remember that you’re more than “just a mom” — it’s okay to have your own interests, maintain friendships, and live a life that doesn’t simply involve caregiving.
Celebrate little victories. Remember that every milestone is an achievement, no matter how small. Recognizing every little “win” — even something as simple as leaving the house with your baby for the first time — helps build resilience and a positive mindset.
Don’t be afraid to ask for support. Asking for help can feel like an admission of failure, but it’s essential to build a strong support network. Be open with friends, family, and your partner, and don’t be afraid to seek professional advice if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Remember, there’s no such thing as “normal”. Everyone’s journey to motherhood is different. Many new mothers experience feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, or even ambivalence; this doesn’t make you a bad mom but a human navigating a complex transition.
At Elvie, we believe it’s so important to acknowledge and discuss matrescence as a concept — particularly as it’s still so little understood by society as a whole. We mustn’t assume that women are simply natural caregivers, and we need to appreciate that the journey to motherhood can often be as challenging as it is rewarding.
As a new mom, remember that it’s natural to feel anxious, doubtful, or overwhelmed at times. Motherhood isn’t meant to be easy, but don’t be afraid to trust your instincts, celebrate every win, and seek support when you need it. You don’t need to be Wonder Woman — you just need to do what’s best for you and your baby.