Thankfully, we live in an era where self-care is now planted firmly within mainstream consciousness, and most people have some idea of what it means — it’s all the little things that, on the surface, might seem inconsequential, but can have a huge impact on your physical, emotional, and mental health.
But if you’ve just become a mom, the only type of care you’re likely to be engaging in is for your little one. Suddenly, normal things you used to do all the time before having a baby — things like getting a haircut, taking leisurely walks, exercising, or having drinks with friends — feel like grand acts of indulgence. They require planning and often come served with a side of guilt… Leave your baby to do something for yourself? How dare you!
Sigh.
Self-care is never selfish, and in this guide we look at the ways a new moms can prioritize looking after themselves as well as a tiny human.
Why should moms make time for themselves?
Moms certainly have a knack for putting themselves last, but they shouldn’t. Taking care of a baby is hard work. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting. Sleep is unpredictable, and so are showers (especially in those first few months). That’s why it’s more important than ever to carve out time to step outside of the “mom role” to relax and regroup. It’s good for the spirit, provides renewed energy, and actually helps us be better parents and partners.
So, ditch the guilt! Embrace the notion that you’re allowed to take a much-needed break from washing bottles and making farm-animal noises — and enjoy it!
Here are six tips on prioritising your own needs, even when you think you don’t have time. Even the smallest things can make a big impact on your happiness and wellbeing.
6 tips for prioritizing self-care as a new mom
So you want to take a little time for yourself — good on you! Below, you’ll find 6 of our top tips for making sure that every now and again, you get some much-needed me-time. Self-care as a mom (particularly when you’re a new mom) isn’t always easy, but here are some of the ways you can put yourself first — even if only occasionally.
1. Ask for help
It takes a village to raise a child, but there’s a weird stigma around asking for help — too many moms worry it makes them look like they can’t do it all or perfectly juggle everything. But asking for help doesn’t make you a failure, or ruin your chances of winning a non-existent “mother of the year” award.
It’s a great feeling to hand off your little one to a capable friend, family member, or babysitter and get out of the house to do something for yourself — whether it’s to attend a fitness class, meet a friend for coffee, or spend some quality time with your partner. If you’re afraid to ask for help, you’ll simply never find time in the day for these things.
2. Don’t skimp on sleep
Being sleep deprived and exhausted equals a sluggish, cranky mom. Studies show that sleep improves your health, mood, and memory, but when you have a newborn, it’s rare to get more than a few hours of sleep at a time — meaning getting enough shuteye is often far easier said than done.
You’ve just got to remember: this part is only a phase, and your baby will develop a more predictable sleep pattern as they get older. Try to nap when you can — those dishes can wait — and rather than staying up late, make a point of getting into bed as early as possible. Try your hardest to avoid stimulating activities like staring at your phone before bed, which can rev your mind up instead of helping you drift off to sleep.
3. Just breathe
Taking just ten minutes a day to do some mindful breathing will do wonders for your emotional and physical wellbeing. There are lots of meditation apps, including Headspace and Calm, that guide you through easy techniques to de-stress and chill out.
Do a short session first thing in the morning or whenever you have a small window of free time — when your baby’s napping, for example — to help reset your thoughts.
4. Get some fresh air
Exercise and mental health are inextricably linked, and for good reason — being physically active releases mood-boosting endorphins, but it can also increase your overall energy levels and even help you get better quality sleep.
Now, we’re not suggesting you sign up for a triathlon — although, there’s nothing stopping you doing so in future — but just a little bit of exercise and fresh air each day can make a huge difference to your physical and emotional wellbeing. If you’re able, start gently by taking a walk around the neighborhood or a nearby green space, and build up to slightly more physically-demanding activities — such as yoga or a spin class — once you’re good and ready.
5. Invest in yourself
When your life is a blur of nappy changes, rocking, burping, and feeding, it’s easy to wind up wearing the same clothes three days in a row, throwing your hair in a messy bun, and forgetting when you last showered. Thanks to pregnancy and childbirth, you may dread getting dressed because nothing fits besides leggings.
But remember, being a mom isn’t the only thing that defines you — and investing in yourself doesn’t undermine your role as a caregiver. Consider buying a few nice clothes or treating yourself to some pamper products, or perhaps taking up that hobby you’ve always fancied giving a go — doing so can help you feel more like you again.
6. Talk to your partner
If you have a partner, it’s likely they feel the exact same way you do. Life is different for both of you now that you’re parents, but it can be easy to focus on your new roles and routines as caregivers and forget to check in on each other. It’s not just about asking for help, either — it’s about communicating openly about your feelings, fears, and needs.
Where you can, spending quality time together is equally important. Try to reclaim some couple-time and reaffirm why you make such a great team. Even a quick coffee date can make a world of difference when you’re used to the chaos of family life. Spend some intentional time together — that doesn’t involve diapers or napping schedules — and remind yourselves that you’re not just parents but partners, too.
The 5 C’s of mental health — how they can help
When we talk about self-care, a big part of this is focusing on your mental health — and when it comes to taking care of yourself, a little structure can go a long way.
The five principles outlined below are a great framework for keeping tabs on your mental health, and they’re incredibly effective for keeping your mind in a good place — even during the chaos of parenting:
1. Connection
Feeling connected to others is, as you might expect, a cornerstone of mental wellbeing. Whether it’s chatting with your friends, attending a mom-and-baby class, or spending a few minutes cuddling with your partner, finding ways to connect helps combat feelings of isolation and boosts your mood.
So, if you’re feeling a little low, consider reaching out to your support system — even if it’s just a quick text.
2. Care
If you hadn’t cottoned on by now, we think self-care is pretty important — without it, your mental health is likely to suffer. Carving out a few minutes to yourself might be difficult when you’re raising a child, but it should never feel impossible — if it does, it’s time to lean on your support network.
3. Consistency
Routines may feel impossible with a newborn, but even small, consistent habits can anchor your day. Whether it’s a daily walk, a quick journaling session, or committing to a set bedtime to get enough sleep, consistency helps reduce stress and gives you a sense of control over your daily life.
4. Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Parenthood is a journey filled with trial and error, and perfection is impossible. If you feel tired, overwhelmed, or like you’re falling short, remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Speak to yourself with the same understanding and encouragement you’d offer a friend.
5. Curiosity
Staying curious keeps your mind engaged and open to new possibilities. Whether it’s learning a new skill, diving into a book, or simply exploring the outside world with your little one, curiosity adds a sense of wonder and joy to your day. It’s also a great way to shift your focus away from stress and into something that excites or interests you.
The bottom line on self-care as a new parent
When you’re deep in the trenches of daily life as a new mom, it’s easy to forget that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your little one, but here’s the thing: neglecting yourself doesn’t do anyone any favours.
As we mentioned before, it takes a village to raise a child. Having a solid support system is key. Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or fellow moms, lean on them. They’re there to help lighten your load so you can focus on your mental wellbeing. And remember, even small acts of self-care can help — things like breathing exercises can make a surprising difference to how you feel.
Better yet, it’s not just your mental health that stands to benefit from self-care — your immune system will get a much-needed boost from things like exercise, too. Chronic stress can really wear you down, but by carving out a moment or two of me-time, you can recharge your energy and show up as your best self for you and your tot.
And no matter what, remember that you’re doing an amazing thing. Parenting is tough, and while there are plenty of tips and tricks, there’s no standard manual. As long as you and your baby are healthy, you’re doing great, so don’t be afraid to reward yourself every now and again!