This article was updated on 04/29/24
Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience with many benefits for both Mom and baby. However, it can also be tiring, emotional, and sometimes challenging, so having a support network in place is important. Whether you are a breastfeeding Mom looking for ways to ask for help or someone eager to support a nursing Mother, here are some practical tips to foster a supportive environment.
How can I support a mother before she starts breastfeeding?
Supporting Mom with her breastfeeding journey doesn't just start after the baby arrives. In fact, having a clear idea of what to expect can help make the whole process of starting to breastfeed much easier for everyone. By providing Mom with knowledge and reassurance, you can help take away some of her anxieties, ensuring she feels confident and supported as she takes on this new responsibility. It also means you won’t be too shell-shocked when the baby arrives and can be fully prepared for your new responsibility as her support network.
Here are our suggestions for supporting Mom before the baby arrives.
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Educate yourself: This could be studying the anatomy of the breast, nipple, and milk ducts to understand where the milk comes from and how it gets from breast to baby. This will mean that if Mama does come across challenges such as engorgement, a clogged duct, mastitis or tongue tie you will know the right measures to take to keep Mom and Baby healthy and thriving while breastfeeding.
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Asking mom how she feels about breastfeeding: As a non-pregnant person, it can be hard to understand the complex changes a mother's body is going through, both mentally and physically. Some mothers may have concerns they feel like no one would understand. Go out of your way to make time to listen to her and let her know you are there to support her throughout the journey of breastfeeding. If you are unsure of what advice you can give, you can either reach out to women who have breastfed beforehand or contact a free breastfeeding helpline for advice.
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Help out wherever you can: being pregnant is tough (understatement alert!) so if you can help out with anything at all, we can promise you that Mama will be grateful. This could be researching and finding the right breast pump for her needs, to stocking the fridge with healthy, delicious food to nourish her and her milk.
How can I support a breastfeeding mother at the hospital?
The moment is finally here! You are at the hospital, the Baby has arrived and Mama is glowing. It can be easy to get caught up in the celebrations but usually, within an hour of birth, Mom will be handed their baby and encouraged to breastfeed. Remember, she has gone through the most mentally and physically exhausting thing that the human body can go through, so be sure to help create a calm, safe and supportive atmosphere for her first feed.
As her support network, it is your responsibility at this point to listen to what Mom wants, help out wherever you can and let her rest and focus on bonding with her new bundle of joy.
Here are some actionable ways to do this:
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Respect Mom's privacy when breastfeeding: She has just pushed her body to her physical and mental limit, so we can guarantee she will be completely exhausted (research found that giving birth requires way more endurance than a marathon!) Though welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting time that can bring everyone together, it is important to ask her if she would prefer some good old peace and quiet when she first feeds. Respecting Mom's boundaries could look like being open to stepping out of the room if she asks or politely telling everyone to let her have some space.
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Communicate when Mom can't: If Mama is having any issues with breastfeeding the baby, ask her if she would like you to speak to the staff for her. She's probably not going to be up to feeling very diplomatic right now, so try and communicate her thoughts and feelings for her in a way she will appreciate.
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Permission for bonding time: While Mom rests and gets some much-needed sleep, ask her if you can have some bonding time with the new arrival. Always make sure you obtain permission beforehand as she might (understandably!) be feeling extremely protective over her newborn. This will get you and the Baby used to each other so you can take over when Mom needs a break.
How can I support a breastfeeding mother in the postpartum period?
It may feel like the hardest part is over but the postpartum period is when a breastfeeding Mom needs her support system most. She is going to be adjusting to a completely new chapter in her life while navigating all the usual challenges that come with breastfeeding. (sore cracked nipples and leaky boobs anyone?) Communication is key within this period, ask Mama what you can do that would be most helpful, as it could have been something you may not have even considered. Ask her about how she feels and engage with her in conversations outside of the Baby. When she spends every minute of her day with her new little one it can be a welcome relief to talk about something else for a change.
Here are some other things you can do to support a breastfeeding Mom in the postpartum period:
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Encourage self-care: While the Baby will be the focus of everyone's attention, be sure to tell Mom how amazing she is doing and encourage her to take time to do the things you know she likes. Offer to watch the Baby so she can enjoy some much-needed self-care.
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Letting her have some one-on-one time with the Baby: Instead of encouraging a queue of friends and family to come and meet the Baby, give her time to bond with her little one. If she wants you to, answer texts and calls for her and politely tell visitors not to come over if she communicates she's not feeling up to it.
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Use your initiative: While communication is key, it is also important to use your initiative in this period. Observe what can be done around the house to help out and do it without asking Mama beforehand, she will appreciate your consideration and won't feel the additional pressure of having to ask for support.
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Seek out advice for breastfeeding challenges: There is a lot of pressure on a breastfeeding mother, she may feel feelings of shame when she experiences common feeding challenges. This could result in her not wanting to reach out for support. Continuing to educate yourself about new research and updated medical guidelines can help you know how to advise her correctly.
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Create a safe, comfortable area for her to feed: Breastfeeding is an incredibly personal and emotional experience for Mom and Baby and it may be that she has a quiet spot in the house where she feels most comfortable feeding. Respect this space by keeping it clean and comfortable, and communicate with her that this is her area that you won't occupy while she is feeding. You could even add some books, snacks or blankets for her to have easy access to.
Supporting a breastfeeding mother is an incredibly rewarding experience and both you and she are very lucky to have each other. It is very important to understand that although these tips can act as a starting point for how you can support her, every breastfeeding journey is unique and what may be helpful for one mother, may not work for another.
Sources:
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Everymind at Work. Building Your Support Network. Available from: https://everymindatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Building-Your-Support-Network.pdf
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Cleveland Clinic. Breast Anatomy. Available from: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/8330-breast-anatomy
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Oklahoma University Health Sciences Center. Breastfeeding Hotline. Available from: https://obrc.ouhsc.edu/Breastfeeding-Hotline
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